Stuck At Nothing

So where do I go from here?

I’m not really sure what I thought would happen.  I have some idea of where my search for meaning is going to take place, and I know that I need to approach things differently. And the first two blog posts came pretty easily.  So the way forward should just open up, right?

Wrong.

 

The past couple of days have been pretty much business as usual.  I guess the best I can say is I haven’t been moving backwards.  I’ve been eating healthfully, exercising, and at least THINKING about things more.  But I’m probably not going to find meaning on a treadmill, or a plate of salmon and broccoli. 

Having realistic expectations is probably a good thing.  At the same time, my history is full of ideas unfinished.   I have a great talent for coming up with projects and starting them.  Finishing them?  Not so much.

       

Maybe acknowledging this flaw is an important first step.  When I look at the areas I identified for my search – my relationships with the divine, my friends, my family, my own physical wellbeing, with society and with nature – I know I identified them because they are IMPORTANT to me.  But do I dedicate a lot of time or energy to any of these?  If my relationship with God is important, what am I doing to live a spiritual life?  If I think meaning can be found in my relationships with friends, how much time have I put into these?  Do I give a lot to charity, or in volunteering my time?  The best I can say for any of these is I’m not moving backwards.       

Some days, not moving backwards is all you can hope for.  But if over and over that’s all you can say – let’s face it, you’re stuck.  This feels like way too important to leave unfinished (or in this case, barely started).  I know an obvious answer might be to just start spending more energy on at least one of the areas I’m looking at. Even knowing this, I’m not sure how to get started.

       

Actually, I do have one idea.  I think I might need to start asking people for help.  Maybe if I start talking about this with others – telling them what I’m doing, asking them where and how they find meaning – a way forward really will open up.  But first I need to decide if I’m ready and willing to do that.  Until then?

I think I'm stuck.