Twenty

I hate Hollywood love stories.

They always go something like this - there are two people who are meant to be together.  It's really obvious they are meant to be together, but they don't see it.  Or maybe one of them sees it but not the other. Or maybe they both see it but life has worked to keep them apart.  There is stuff that happens to them, lots of misunderstandings, and finally one big one that almost keeps them apart forever.  But then, miraculously, they are together.  And they can head off into the sunset, together forever, where everything is all first-kiss romance, forever and ever, world without end.

Bullshit.

Hollywood love stories don't tell you that when you love someone for a long time, a lot of it is filled with the mundane and the monotonous.  Paying bills.  Folding socks. Driving the kids to school, to the doctor's, to soccer to...whatever.  And there are times when it feels like your whole life is this mundane, and if you have to fold one more pair of socks you are going to blow your brains out.

Hollywood love stories don't tell you that when you love someone a long time, one (or both) of you is likely to face some pretty DEEP PERSONAL ISSUES from time to time.  Maybe you will find yourself wondering how the hell you ended up with the job you did.  Or maybe you'll go as far as to wonder what the whole meaning of your existence on this planet is.  And you'll spend days in some deep funk, or looking for answers at the bottom of a glass.

Hollywood love stories don't tell you that when you love someone a long time, sometimes life throws some truly scary stuff at you.  Stuff for which you have no rule book.  Stuff that gives lie to things that you considered your most unshakable TRUTHS.  And you will be afraid.  Really afraid.  Because how can you know so little about how to deal with things that matter so much?  How will you bear it if you fail?

Yep, Hollywood love stories don't tell you any of this.  That's why I hate them.

But I love ours.

Because for 20 years you have been there, completely been there.

You have been there through all the sock folding and bill paying.  You have cleaned and chauffeured and cooked and gardened.  And just when I think I am ready to hang myself with the final unpaired sock you are there, to make me laugh and find the joy.

You have been there through my deep personal issues, and every time I have looked for answers in the wrong places.  You counseled me, and supported me, and let me find my muddled way, even when that was a pain for you.

You have been there when the world came crashing down around me, and I was afraid.  Afraid I wasn't enough.  Afraid I would fail.  And you have been my rock and my light.  My shelter.  And you have pulled me out of the darkness and let me know that we would find our way.

Here's the thing - love stories ARE made of first kiss romance, and I remember ours. I remember kisses stolen at work when we snuck away to some deserted corner.  And I remember kisses on the lawn outside the Longfellow House, late at night and you in your pajamas, so cute I could barely stand it.   And I remember the kiss you gave me yesterday before I went to work.

But real love stories are also about BEING THERE. Through the really hard stuff.  When others can't or won't or don't.  And my heart, you have been there, truly been there, through it all.  With all the love and miraculous light that is you.

Thank you.  I love you.  Forever and ever.  World without end.

And by the way?  Your kisses are as sweet and delicious as ever.